Step 9: Love as Jesus Loves

The Good Way Discipleship Course | Step 9 of 12

The Commands of Christ in Relationships and Service

Following Jesus should change the way we treat people. Our faith is not meant to remain confined to Bible study, personal prayer, or the beliefs we profess. It should become visible in our relationships, conversations, responsibilities, and concern for those around us.

Yet learning to love as Jesus loves is not always easy. We encounter people who disappoint us, misunderstand us, or treat us unfairly. Sometimes love requires patience when we would rather become angry. At other times, it requires honesty, generosity, forgiveness, or the willingness to serve someone who cannot repay us. How can we develop this kind of love without turning the Christian life into another exhausting attempt at self-improvement? Jesus gives us the answer by showing us what love looks like and where it begins.

In Step Eight, we studied repentance and the call to put away sinful conduct. We learned that believers are called to turn from dishonesty, bitterness, impurity, and destructive habits because they already belong to Christ. Now we will consider the positive direction of that new life: loving God and other people as Jesus himself has loved us.

The Central Truth: Christlike maturity is expressed through humble, truthful, sacrificial, merciful, and generous love. Jesus Christ has loved his people first, and his saving grace provides the foundation for their response. Through the Holy Spirit, believers learn to express that love in their relationships, service, and everyday responsibilities.

Begin With Scripture

Primary Reading: John 13:1-35 (WEBU)

Before continuing, read John 13:1–35 in full. Notice how Jesus’ humble service, the announcement of betrayal, and his command to love one another fit together. Pay particular attention to how Jesus demonstrates love before teaching his disciples to show that same love to others.

As you read, pay attention to three important observations:

1. Christ’s love: What does Jesus know about his approaching death, and how does he demonstrate love to his disciples?
2. Christ’s example: Why is it significant that their Lord and Teacher performs the work of a servant?
3. Christ’s command: What does Jesus tell his followers to do, and how will others recognize them as his disciples?

Read John 13 again before studying the explanation below. Allow Jesus’ own words and actions to establish what Christian love means.

Companion Readings:

• Matthew 5:38–48: Jesus teaches his followers to reject personal revenge, love their enemies, and pray for those who mistreat them. Notice how his teaching extends love beyond people who are naturally easy to love.
• Luke 10:25–37: Jesus tells the parable of the Good Samaritan. Observe how the Samaritan responds to someone in need and how Jesus challenges the listener’s understanding of a neighbor.

These passages develop different aspects of Christlike love. John 13 provides Jesus’ own example and commandment. Matthew 5 shows how that love responds to hostility, while Luke 10 demonstrates its practical concern for people in need.

If you are reading through the Gospel of John alongside this course, spend additional time in chapters 13–17. These chapters reveal how Jesus prepares his disciples to live in his love, depend upon the Holy Spirit, and remain faithful after his departure.

Main Teaching: Learning to Love as Jesus Loves

John 13:1–5 | Jesus Loves His Disciples First

John 13 takes place during the final evening before Jesus’ crucifixion. His public ministry is drawing to a close, and he is preparing his disciples for his approaching death, resurrection, and return to the Father.

The opening verses reveal something remarkable about Jesus. He knows that his appointed hour has arrived and understands what is about to happen, including the betrayal that will lead to his arrest. Yet instead of concentrating only on his approaching suffering, Jesus demonstrates his love for those who belong to him.

John 13:1 describes Jesus’ love as continuing to the end. This introduces the central theme of the chapter: the love of Christ is faithful, complete, and expressed through action.

During supper, Jesus rises from the table, removes his outer garments, wraps himself with a towel, and begins washing his disciples’ feet. To appreciate the significance, we need to understand the setting. In the ancient world, people commonly traveled along dusty roads wearing sandals. Washing someone’s feet was an ordinary act of hospitality, but it was also a lowly task. It was often associated with servants or people of lesser social standing.

Jesus deliberately takes that position before his disciples.

The astonishing detail is that Jesus knows exactly who he is. John 13:3 explains that the Father has given all things into his hands and that he came from God and is returning to God.

Jesus serves from the fullness of his authority, not from a lack of it.

He is not a powerless man attempting to earn respect through humility. He is the eternal Son of God who has become truly human, possesses divine authority, and willingly chooses to serve.

This changes how we understand Christian love. Jesus does not approach his disciples as someone seeking approval or trying to prove his worth. He serves because he loves them. His actions arise from his relationship with the Father and his commitment to accomplish the Father’s saving purpose.

For Christians, this provides an important foundation. We do not need to earn our standing before God through service. Those who belong to Christ have already been received through grace, and that grace frees them to serve others without constantly seeking recognition or repayment.

John 13:6–11 | Receive Christ’s Cleansing Before Imitating His Service

As Jesus continues washing the disciples’ feet, he comes to Simon Peter. Peter is deeply uncomfortable. He recognizes that Jesus is his Lord and cannot understand why someone of such authority would perform this lowly task.

At first, Peter refuses to allow Jesus to wash him. Jesus responds by explaining that Peter must receive what his Lord is doing if he is to have a part with him.

Peter then asks for more than the washing of his feet. Jesus distinguishes between someone who has already bathed and the ordinary need to have dusty feet washed. He also indicates that not everyone present is clean, referring to the coming betrayal.

This exchange has a meaning deeper than physical cleanliness.

Jesus is demonstrating that fellowship with him depends upon receiving what he graciously provides. Peter cannot establish that relationship through personal pride, religious accomplishment, or his own understanding of what the Messiah should do. He must receive the Lord’s gracious service.

The foot washing points toward the cleansing and humility associated with Jesus’ saving mission. It should not be treated as an exact explanation of every aspect of salvation, but it prepares the disciples to understand the greater sacrifice he is about to make.

We must receive the saving work of Christ before we can properly respond to his example.

Through his sacrifice on the cross, Jesus has provided the cleansing from sin that we could never accomplish ourselves. Those who place their faith in him are truly washed, forgiven, and made clean before God. The example about Peter is equally about us.

Jesus did not come merely to demonstrate admirable moral behavior. He came to save sinners through his obedient life, sacrificial death, and bodily resurrection. Through faith in Christ, believers receive forgiveness and new life. They are united with him, welcomed into God’s family, and given the Holy Spirit. These blessings do not depend upon achieving a certain level of compassion or completing a sufficient number of acts of service.

If you have not yet placed your faith in Jesus, his example of love is worth studying, but moral imitation cannot replace salvation. Jesus calls sinners to repent, believe the gospel, and receive life through him.

If you already belong to Christ, remember that your love for others flows from the grace you have received. We cannot manufacture the life of Jesus through greater determination. We learn to live from the new life God has given. He washed and served you, even to death. Will you now pray for a changed heart and determine to serve others?

John 13:12–17 | The Lord and Teacher Becomes a Servant

After washing his disciples’ feet, Jesus returns to the table and explains what he has done.

He reminds them that they rightly acknowledge him as their Teacher and Lord. He has not abandoned his authority or denied his identity by serving them. Instead, he has demonstrated how his followers should treat one another.

In John 13:15 (WEBU), Jesus says:

For I have given you an example, that you should also do as I have done to you.

Jesus’ meaning is direct. If their Lord is willing to perform a humble act of service, his followers have no reason to consider themselves too important to serve others.

This instruction challenges our natural desire for status. We often prefer positions where our contributions are recognized, our opinions receive attention, and other people appreciate what we do. Even within Christian communities, service can become an opportunity to gain influence or admiration.

Jesus presents a different pattern. The greatest person in the room willingly takes the place of a servant.

Historic Christian traditions differ over whether foot washing should continue as a specific church ordinance or practice. Some congregations observe it literally, while others understand it chiefly as an example of humble service expressed in many ways. Whatever a church’s practice, the central command must not be overlooked. Jesus expects his followers to demonstrate genuine humility and practical care.

Consider what this might mean in ordinary life:

• At home: A parent patiently cares for a child when exhausted, or a family member helps with an unpleasant responsibility without demanding gratitude.
• Among friends: Someone notices a person who is discouraged and gives them time, attention, and encouragement.
• Within the church: A Christian welcomes someone who is overlooked or volunteers for an important task that few people notice.
• In the community: A neighbor offers practical assistance to someone experiencing hardship without expecting repayment.

These actions may seem ordinary, but they reflect the kind of humility Jesus demonstrates. Not every act of service must be dramatic or publicly recognized. Some of the most meaningful expressions of Christian love happen quietly.

Jesus also teaches that understanding his example is not enough. John 13:17 connects knowing these things with actually doing them.

This brings us back to the purpose of The Good Way Discipleship Course. Jesus commands his followers to learn and observe his teachings. We are not merely collecting information about Christian love. We are learning to practice what our Lord has taught.

John 13:18–35 | Love in the Shadow of Betrayal

The remainder of John 13 adds an important dimension to Jesus’ teaching.

This is not a peaceful gathering where everyone is faithful and every relationship is healthy. Jesus knows that Judas Iscariot will betray him. He also knows that Peter, despite his sincere confidence, will soon deny knowing him.

John describes Jesus as troubled in spirit when he announces the betrayal. His knowledge and authority do not make the coming events emotionally insignificant. The betrayal is real, and Jesus does not pretend otherwise. After Judas leaves, Jesus speaks about the glory that will be revealed through his approaching death. The cross is central to his mission. Through his sacrificial obedience, Jesus will accomplish the salvation of sinners and reveal the Father’s saving love.

It is in this setting that Jesus gives his new commandment.

John 13:34–35 (WEBU) declares:

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Jesus does not merely instruct his followers to be pleasant or courteous. He establishes his own love as the pattern for theirs.

This commandment is new not because the Old Testament never commanded love. Leviticus 19:18 already instructed God’s people to love their neighbors. Rather, Jesus now provides the decisive example of love through his own humble service and approaching sacrifice. He has loved his disciples faithfully, taken the position of a servant, and is about to lay down his life for them.

The love Jesus commands is shaped by the love he has already demonstrated.

This is also how the world should recognize his disciples.

Jesus does not say that Christian identity will be most clearly demonstrated through impressive religious knowledge, public arguments, social influence, or ministry accomplishments. He identifies love for one another as a distinguishing mark of his followers.

That does not make sound doctrine, truthful teaching, holiness, or obedience unimportant. Rather, genuine love should shape the way those convictions are expressed. A church may explain Christian doctrine accurately and still fail to treat people with patience or compassion. A believer may defend biblical truth while speaking cruelly to those who disagree.

Jesus does not permit us to separate truth from love. His disciples must learn both.

Loving God and Others: The Commands of Jesus

Love God With Your Whole Life

In Matthew 22:34–40, a religious expert asks Jesus which commandment is greatest.

Jesus responds by identifying two inseparable responsibilities: loving God with the whole heart, soul, and mind, and loving one’s neighbor as oneself. He explains that the Law and the Prophets depend upon these commandments.

This teaches us that Christian love is not merely one virtue among many. It stands at the center of the moral life God calls his people to live.

Love for God involves more than affectionate feelings or religious enthusiasm. It includes trusting his character, honoring his Word, worshiping him, and seeking to obey his will. Love for our neighbor likewise involves more than wishing people well. It means taking their welfare seriously and responding appropriately to their actual needs. The two commandments belong together.

We cannot claim to love God while consistently treating people made in his image with contempt. Nor can we reduce love for others to simple kindness while ignoring the Lord who establishes what genuine goodness means.

Christian love is rooted in God’s character and revealed through his commands.

Love Your Enemies and Refuse Revenge

One of the most challenging commands Jesus gives appears in Matthew 5:38–48.

During the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus addresses the human tendency to repay harm with further harm. He calls his followers to reject personal vengeance and respond differently to those who mistreat them. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus commands his followers to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them.

This teaching reaches beyond natural affection.

Most people find it relatively easy to care for someone who treats them kindly. We are often willing to help friends, support family members, or show generosity to those who appreciate us.

Jesus calls his disciples to go further. He points to the heavenly Father’s kindness toward both the righteous and the unrighteous. God’s generous care provides an example for his people. Their love should not depend entirely upon whether another person has earned it. Consider how enemy-love might appear in everyday circumstances.

A coworker speaks unfairly about you. Rather than spreading rumors in return, you respond truthfully and refuse revenge. Someone repeatedly treats you with contempt. Rather than wishing them harm, you bring the situation before God and ask for wisdom in how to respond.

A difficult neighbor may still have a legitimate need. You can consider whether a wise act of kindness would help them, even if the relationship remains strained.

Loving an enemy does not require approving wrongdoing or pretending that an offense never happened.

It means refusing to make personal vengeance the governing principle of our response.

Jesus’ instruction to love enemies must also be understood responsibly. He is not commanding someone to remain in danger, tolerate continuing abuse, abandon necessary legal protection, or give an unsafe person unrestricted access to their life. Love can include appropriate boundaries, truthful reporting, seeking justice, and protecting vulnerable people.

The command is to reject hatred and revenge, not to ignore the difference between right and wrong.

Show Mercy to the Neighbor in Front of You

Luke 10:25–37 contains one of Jesus’ most familiar parables: the Good Samaritan.

The conversation begins when an expert in the Law of Moses asks Jesus about inheriting eternal life. Jesus directs him toward what the Law teaches about loving God and neighbor.

The man then attempts to justify himself by asking who qualifies as his neighbor. Jesus responds with a story. A traveler is attacked by robbers on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho. He is beaten, stripped, and left severely injured. A priest encounters him but passes by. Later, a Levite also sees him and continues on his way.

Then a Samaritan approaches. The Samaritan’s identity matters because Jews and Samaritans had deep historical and religious tensions. Jesus deliberately places someone from a distrusted group in the role of the person who acts compassionately.

The Samaritan sees the injured traveler, attends to his wounds, brings him to shelter, and provides for his continued care. He does not merely express sympathy. His compassion becomes practical assistance.

At the end of the parable, Jesus asks which person proved to be a neighbor to the injured man.

The answer is the one who showed mercy. Jesus then directs his listener to follow that example. The lesson moves our attention away from deciding which people deserve to be called our neighbors and toward becoming people who act with mercy.

This parable does not teach that charitable behavior can replace faith in Christ or purchase eternal life. The original question exposes the limits of human self-justification, while Jesus’ example reveals the kind of love God’s commandments require.

We should not limit our concern to those who share our background, beliefs, social position, or personal preferences. Christ calls his people to recognize the needs of others and respond with wisdom and compassion.

That may involve helping someone who is ill, visiting a lonely person, preparing a meal, giving practical assistance, or supporting a ministry that cares for vulnerable people.

We cannot personally meet every need we encounter, and Jesus’ teaching does not require reckless decisions or limitless personal resources. But we should resist the temptation to make indifference our normal response.

Christian mercy recognizes human need and seeks a faithful, practical response.

Christian Love in Everyday Relationships

The commands of Jesus reach far beyond occasional acts of generosity. They shape our character, speech, responsibilities, and relationships throughout ordinary life.

In the Sermon on the Mount, especially Matthew 5–7, Jesus addresses anger, honesty, sexual purity, reconciliation, generosity, prayer, possessions, and the motives of the heart.

These subjects are connected by the call to live under God’s reign.

Speak Truthfully and Treat Others With Dignity

Christian love must be truthful.

Jesus teaches in Matthew 5:33–37 that our speech should be trustworthy. We should not need elaborate promises or exaggerated claims to convince others that we mean what we say.

Paul develops this responsibility further in Ephesians 4:25–32, commanding believers to reject falsehood, speak in ways that build others up, and put away bitterness and malicious conduct. This applies to ordinary conversations, workplace responsibilities, family relationships, and disagreements within the church.

Honesty may require admitting a mistake, correcting misinformation, refusing gossip, or communicating an uncomfortable truth. Yet truthfulness does not justify cruelty. The way we speak matters as well as the accuracy of our words.

A Christian should seek to speak honestly with patience, humility, and respect.

Practice Holiness in Relationships and Family Life

Jesus teaches that righteousness involves the desires and intentions of the heart.

In Matthew 5:21–30, he addresses anger, contempt, and lustful intent. His teaching shows that sin cannot be reduced to outward actions alone. The way we regard other people matters before God.

This principle has important implications for friendships, marriage, sexuality, family responsibilities, and personal boundaries. We should not treat others as objects for our pleasure, people to manipulate, or obstacles to our desires. Christian love respects the dignity of others and seeks their good.

For those who are married, this includes faithfulness, honesty, mutual care, and responsible attention to family obligations. For those who are single, it includes honoring God’s teaching about sexual holiness and treating others with integrity. Parents, adult children, friends, and coworkers likewise have opportunities to express love through patience, reliability, and respect.

These responsibilities are not fulfilled perfectly. When we fail, repentance and appropriate repair remain part of Christian life.

However, the standard is not simply avoiding obvious wrongdoing. Christ calls us to develop a character that increasingly reflects his holiness and love.

Handle Money and Possessions With Generosity

Jesus gives significant attention to money because possessions can become powerful competitors for our trust and loyalty.

In Matthew 6:19–24, he warns against making earthly treasure the center of life. He explains that a person cannot serve both God and wealth as competing masters. This teaching does not mean every Christian must possess the same amount of money or live under identical financial circumstances. It does mean that our possessions should remain subject to God’s purposes.

Christian generosity may involve financial giving, but it can also include hospitality, sharing necessary goods, helping someone with transportation, providing meals, or using our abilities to meet practical needs. Matthew 6:1–4 also warns against performing charitable acts to receive public admiration. Jesus directs his followers toward generosity that seeks the Father’s approval rather than human applause.

A generous Christian does not give in order to purchase God’s favor or gain spiritual recognition. Generosity is a response to the grace already received.

We should also practice responsible stewardship. Providing for one’s household, honoring financial obligations, avoiding exploitation, and making wise decisions are all compatible with generosity.

Someone who has little money may still demonstrate remarkable love through encouragement, hospitality, prayer, or practical service.

Christian love is not measured by the size of a donation.

Practice Love Throughout Ordinary Life

It is helpful to consider how the commands of Christ affect several ordinary areas of responsibility.

• Marriage and family: Practice patience, faithfulness, truthful communication, responsibility, and care rather than selfishness or manipulation.
• Work and business: Treat others honestly, fulfill reasonable responsibilities, refuse exploitation, and use authority to serve rather than intimidate.
• Friendship and hospitality: Make room for people who need encouragement, companionship, or practical assistance without seeking repayment.
• Money and possessions: Give wisely, care for legitimate obligations, and refuse to make wealth or personal comfort the master of your decisions.
• Conflict and disagreement: Speak truthfully, reject personal revenge, pursue peace where possible, and maintain appropriate boundaries.
• Church and community: Encourage fellow believers, serve according to your abilities, welcome newcomers, and care for people who may otherwise be overlooked.

These are not separate spiritual achievements to collect. They are different expressions of the same calling: to love God and neighbor as followers of Jesus Christ.

Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Wise Boundaries

One of the most difficult aspects of Christian love involves responding when someone has genuinely wronged us.

Jesus repeatedly teaches forgiveness. In Matthew 6:14–15 and Matthew 18:21–35, he connects the mercy we extend to others with the mercy we have received from God.

The Christian response to wrongdoing must therefore be shaped by grace. Yet forgiveness is sometimes misunderstood in ways that can cause further harm.

Forgiveness Does Not Mean Pretending Nothing Happened

Forgiveness does not require denying that someone acted wrongly.

God’s forgiveness of sinners does not suggest that sin is insignificant. The death of Jesus Christ demonstrates just how seriously God treats human evil. Likewise, when Christians forgive, they need not pretend that betrayal, dishonesty, abuse, or other wrongdoing was harmless.

Forgiveness involves turning away from personal vengeance and entrusting ultimate justice to God. It is a response of faith that refuses to let revenge become the governing purpose of our lives. But forgiveness does not eliminate the need for truth, repentance, accountability, or appropriate consequences.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation Are Not Identical

Reconciliation concerns the restoration of a damaged relationship.

Sometimes reconciliation follows genuine repentance, confession, changed behavior, and mutual willingness to rebuild trust. In other circumstances, reconciliation may be unsafe, impossible, or inappropriate. For example, a person who has experienced abuse should not be instructed to return to a dangerous situation merely to demonstrate forgiveness. Someone who has repeatedly been deceived may need substantial evidence of changed conduct before trust can be restored.

Appropriate boundaries can be an expression of wisdom rather than a failure of Christian love. Romans 12:18 recognizes that peaceful relationships are not always within the control of one person. Believers should pursue peace as far as it depends upon them, but they cannot compel another person to act rightly.

Forgiveness concerns our response to wrongdoing. Reconciliation concerns the restoration of a relationship. Trust must be supported by trustworthy conduct, and safety must not be ignored.

Where serious abuse, coercion, threats, or danger are involved, seek appropriate help from qualified professionals, responsible church leaders, safeguarding authorities, or emergency services as the circumstances require.

A discipler should never demand that someone confront an unsafe person or disclose painful experiences as a condition of spiritual progress.

Seek Peace Without Abandoning Truth

Jesus instructs his followers to seek reconciliation in Matthew 5:23–24. He also commands them to reject personal revenge and love their enemies.

These teachings belong together. When we have wronged someone, we should take responsibility for our actions. Where appropriate and safe, we should confess wrongdoing, ask forgiveness, provide restitution, and seek to repair the harm. When someone has wronged us, we should refuse personal vengeance while responding truthfully and wisely. Sometimes a difficult conversation can restore understanding. At other times, distance, mediation, accountability, or legal protection may be necessary.

The Holy Spirit helps believers grow in patience, courage, and wisdom, but we should not expect every damaged relationship to be restored immediately.

Christian love does not require us to control the outcome. It calls us to respond faithfully before God.

Serving Others Through the Holy Spirit

Love Is More Than a Feeling

Christian love includes genuine affection, but it cannot be reduced to emotion.

We may feel warmth toward one person and frustration toward another. Our emotions also change with fatigue, disappointment, circumstances, and personal struggles.

Jesus’ commandment is deeper than maintaining pleasant feelings. Love involves seeking another person’s good according to God’s truth, even when doing so requires effort or sacrifice.

Paul provides a fuller picture in Romans 12:9–21. He instructs believers to show sincere love, honor others, contribute to practical needs, practice hospitality, share joy and sorrow, and refuse revenge. These are apostolic applications of the love Jesus commands. The same letter begins Romans 12 by calling believers to offer their whole lives to God in response to his mercies. Once again, grace comes before obedience.

The Christian does not become loving through self-sufficiency. The Holy Spirit forms Christlike character while believers actively respond to God’s Word.

Learn Humility From Jesus Christ

Philippians 2:1–11 provides another important explanation of Christian service.

Paul calls believers to humility and concern for others. Then he directs their attention to Jesus Christ.

Although Jesus is truly divine, he willingly took the form of a servant and humbled himself through obedience, even to death on the cross. His humility did not result from a lack of worth or authority. It was the willing obedience of the eternal Son who became truly human to accomplish our salvation. Paul presents the humility of Christ as the pattern for Christian relationships.

This does not mean believers should consider themselves worthless or allow others to exploit them. Biblical humility means refusing pride and self-importance while sincerely considering the needs of others.

A humble Christian can acknowledge personal strengths, fulfill responsibilities, establish boundaries, and speak the truth. Humility concerns how we use those abilities and responsibilities before God.

It asks whether we are seeking our own superiority or using what God has given us to serve others.

What Is True in Christ: Learning to Love as Jesus Does

Jesus measures love differently from the world around us. People often evaluate love through visible generosity, emotional affection, or the sacrifices someone appears willing to make. Yet Scripture teaches that genuine Christian love reaches beyond outward actions to the motives of the heart and the way we value other people. Jesus does not simply call us to perform loving deeds. He teaches us to see others differently, examine why we serve, and recognize that even the smallest act of faithfulness matters to God.

Even Great Sacrifices Can Be Made Without Love

In 1 Corinthians 13:1–3, Paul makes a remarkable argument. A person might possess extraordinary spiritual abilities, understand profound mysteries, demonstrate impressive faith, or even give away everything they own. Yet Paul explains that these accomplishments are nothing without love. It is possible to do something outwardly generous while lacking genuine love for the person being served. Religious activity, personal sacrifice, and public generosity do not automatically reveal a loving heart.

This challenges us to examine our motivations. Do we serve because we genuinely care about another person’s welfare, or because we want recognition, influence, or a sense of personal importance? Are we willing to help when nobody notices or when the person receiving our assistance cannot express gratitude? These questions should encourage honest reflection rather than constant anxiety about our intentions. As we grow in Christ, we should increasingly desire to love others for their good and God’s glory. The greatness of Christian service is not determined merely by what we accomplish, but also by the love with which we serve.

Christ Does Not Measure People by Their Status

James 2:1–9 confronts another serious danger: showing favoritism based upon someone’s wealth, appearance, or social position. James describes a gathering in which a wealthy visitor receives special attention while a poor person is treated with dishonor. He condemns this discrimination as inconsistent with genuine Christian faith. The passage reminds us that the worth of another person is not determined by what they possess, how influential they are, or what they can provide for us.

This teaching reaches into our churches, friendships, workplaces, and communities. We may naturally gravitate toward people who are successful, agreeable, attractive, or similar to ourselves while overlooking those who seem difficult, unfamiliar, or unable to benefit us. Yet Christ calls us to reject such favoritism. Every human being bears God’s image, and our treatment of others should reflect the dignity he has given them. This does not mean every relationship must have the same closeness or responsibility. It means we must not allow worldly measures of importance to determine who deserves basic respect, kindness, and compassionate attention.

Christ Remembers the Love Others Never See

Hebrews 6:10 offers a beautiful encouragement to believers who serve faithfully. The writer reminds Christians that God does not forget the work and love they have shown toward his name in serving his people. Jesus likewise teaches in Matthew 10:42 that even giving a cup of cold water to one of his disciples will not go unnoticed. God sees the acts of faithful love that the world may never recognize. Our service does not need to become impressive, public, or influential before it matters to him.

This truth is especially encouraging when love becomes exhausting or seems unappreciated. A parent caring patiently for a child, someone quietly supporting a struggling friend, or a Christian faithfully encouraging another believer may receive little recognition. Sometimes the person being helped does not even understand the sacrifice involved. Yet God knows our intentions, our circumstances, and the love expressed through faithful service. We should not expect every act of kindness to produce visible results or guarantee appreciation. Our calling is to love faithfully, trusting that the Lord knows what is done in his name.

Together, these truths challenge how we understand Christian maturity. We must not confuse impressive accomplishments with genuine love, treat people according to worldly status, or assume that unnoticed service is unimportant. Jesus calls us to a love that is sincere in its motives, impartial in its concern, and faithful even without recognition. As we follow him, we should ask not only what good we can accomplish, but whether our hearts and relationships are increasingly reflecting the love of Christ.

Christians Before Us: Christlike Love Throughout Christian History

Throughout Christian history, believers have demonstrated that love for Jesus must become practical concern for people in need. One remarkable example is Fabiola of Rome, a wealthy Christian woman who died around AD 399. According to an account written by Jerome, Fabiola used her resources to establish a hospital for the sick and impoverished, including people who had been neglected or abandoned. She did not limit her involvement to financial contributions. Jerome describes her personally tending the sick, feeding those who were suffering, and caring for people whose conditions others found difficult even to approach. Her example reflects the compassion Jesus teaches in the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25–37). Christian love must not be limited to those whose circumstances are comfortable or convenient. Fabiola reminds us that genuine mercy recognizes the dignity of suffering people and responds to their needs with practical compassion. Not everyone can establish a hospital, but every Christian can learn to notice people whom others overlook and consider how to serve them faithfully.

In the eighteenth century, John Wesley (1703–1791) demonstrated that devotion to Scripture and prayer should produce genuine concern for others. While studying and teaching at Oxford, Wesley joined a small group of Christians who regularly gathered for Bible study, prayer, and spiritual accountability. Encouraged by fellow believer William Morgan, they began visiting prisoners, caring for the sick, helping impoverished families, and supporting education for children in need. Wesley understood that Christian faith must influence how believers spend their time, use their resources, and respond to the needs of those around them. His example reflects the teaching of Jesus that those who follow him should demonstrate their love through practical service (John 13:14–17). Christian love is more than understanding what Jesus commanded. It involves faithfully putting his teachings into practice, whether through encouraging someone who is struggling, caring for a person in need, or serving others without expecting anything in return.

In the nineteenth century, George Müller (1805–1898) provided another remarkable example of Christian love expressed through practical service. A German-born Christian minister serving in Bristol, England, Müller became deeply concerned about children who had lost their parents and lacked proper care. Beginning in 1836, he established orphan homes that eventually provided shelter, food, clothing, education, and Christian instruction for thousands of children. Müller was especially known for his dependence upon God through prayer, trusting the Lord to provide for the needs of the children entrusted to his care. Yet his faith was never merely a matter of private devotion. He devoted decades of his life to organizing and sustaining a ministry that gave vulnerable children opportunities they otherwise might never have received. His example reminds us that loving our neighbors requires more than expressing sympathy or praying for their needs. When God provides the opportunity and ability, we should also respond through faithful action. Christian love brings together prayer, generosity, personal sacrifice, and practical compassion (1 John 3:16–18).

Learning to Follow Jesus in Love

The purpose of this lesson is not simply to admire Jesus’ humility or agree that kindness is important. We want to learn how to follow him in the relationships and responsibilities we already have.

That begins with remaining conscious of the Lord who has loved us.

Turn Toward Christ Before Responding

Consider a familiar situation. Someone speaks impatiently to you, criticizes your work, or makes a demand when you already feel overwhelmed.

Your immediate response may be anger, defensiveness, or the desire to answer harshly. At that moment, you can turn toward Jesus in prayer. You might ask him for patience, wisdom, and the willingness to speak truthfully without unnecessary cruelty. Recall his teaching about love, humility, and refusing revenge. Then consider what response would honor him and genuinely serve the other person.

This does not guarantee that the conversation will become easy. Nor does it mean that every disagreement should be avoided. It means you are learning to respond from your relationship with Christ rather than allowing anger, pride, or fear to govern your actions.

Afterward, you can thank God for his help or confess where you failed.

Such prayerful dependence belongs to ordinary Christian life. You do not need to wait for a scheduled devotional time to speak with your heavenly Father.

Receive God’s Word With Discernment

Learning to follow Jesus includes listening carefully to what he has revealed through Scripture.

God speaks authoritatively through the sixty-six canonical books of the Old and New Testaments. His Word establishes the truth by which our beliefs, decisions, and spiritual claims must be examined.

The Holy Spirit helps believers understand Scripture, recognize sin, grow in wisdom, and respond faithfully.

Prayer also belongs to discernment. We can bring difficult relationships and decisions before God, asking him to shape our desires and guide us toward responsible choices. However, we should not assume that every inward impression is a direct message from God.

Someone may strongly feel that they should confront another person, give away a large sum of money, or make a significant life change. Such impressions should be examined through Scripture, prayer, circumstances, and wise Christian counsel rather than treated as infallible commands.

Love must remain joined to truth and wisdom.

Serve Without Seeking Recognition

Jesus warns against practicing righteousness merely to receive public admiration (Matthew 6:1–4). Even sincere service can gradually become connected to our desire for recognition. Because our acceptance before God rests in Jesus Christ, we are free to serve without making every good deed a public achievement. The question is not whether anyone notices us, but whether we are acting from genuine love.

There may be appropriate reasons to share information about charitable activities, including accountability, coordination, and encouraging others to participate. But the desire for admiration should not govern our generosity. A helpful question is whether we would still be willing to serve if nobody praised us for doing so. Our goal is not to reject legitimate appreciation, but to learn humility that seeks another person’s good and God’s glory.

Let Love Extend Beyond Your Immediate Circle

Christlike love should gradually expand our concern beyond the people we naturally prefer.

We begin with the relationships and responsibilities God has already placed before us, including family, friends, coworkers, fellow believers, and neighbors. But we should also remain attentive to people who are overlooked, isolated, vulnerable, or burdened.

You may discover opportunities through a local church, community ministry, neighborly relationships, or ordinary encounters. For example, you might visit someone who is lonely, prepare food for a family experiencing hardship, offer transportation to someone who needs assistance, or support a responsible ministry serving vulnerable people.

These actions should be undertaken wisely, respecting personal boundaries, safeguarding requirements, and the actual needs of others. We do not need to impose our help where it is unwanted or assume that every problem can be solved by our own efforts.

Instead, we seek to become people who recognize opportunities for mercy and respond faithfully.

The love of Christ is not meant to remain within us. Through the Holy Spirit, it should increasingly become visible in the way we care for others.

For the Discipler: Walking Through This Step Together

Before You Meet | Read John 13:1–35 alongside Matthew 5:38–48 and Luke 10:25–37. Review the Good Way John 13 commentary, particularly its Walkthrough and Leading sections. Prepare to explain how Jesus’ prior love and humble service establish the foundation for Christian obedience. Consider a simple example of faithful, unrecognized service without presenting your own conduct as the standard.

During the Meeting | Begin by reading John 13 together. Ask what Jesus does before giving his new commandment and why his position as Lord makes the foot washing significant. Use the shared discussion questions below to explore love, humility, forgiveness, and mercy. Invite the learner to consider one realistic expression of Christlike love in an existing relationship. Allow time for prayer and honest questions.

What to Watch For | Never equate forgiveness with restored trust or require contact with an unsafe person. Do not pressure the learner to disclose painful relationships, assume they have money or free time to give, or treat generosity as a condition of God’s acceptance. Edify them. Let the Holy Spirit do the convicting for any inaction.

Before Moving Forward | Invite the learner to explain how Christ’s love creates the foundation for loving others. Discuss one wise act of service and one appropriate response to a difficult relationship. Encourage continued participation in a healthy local church, preparing for Step Ten’s teaching on fellowship, worship, baptism, and shared Christian life.

Discuss Together

Read John 13:1-35 again, then consider the following questions. If you have a discipler, discuss them together. If you are studying independently, write your responses.

1. Christ’s example: Why is it significant that Jesus washes his disciples’ feet while knowing that he possesses authority from the Father? What does this reveal about his character?
2. The new commandment: What does Jesus mean when he commands his followers to love one another as he has loved them? How is this love different from ordinary affection or friendliness?
3. Love and obedience: Why is Christian love more than a feeling? How can genuine love involve both compassion and truthful correction?
4. Loving difficult people: Suppose a coworker repeatedly treats someone unkindly, yet later asks that person for assistance. How might Matthew 5:43–48 shape a response that demonstrates genuine love without abandoning wisdom or appropriate boundaries? How is this different from seeking revenge or pretending the wrongdoing does not matter?
5. Forgiveness and reconciliation: What is the difference between forgiving someone, rebuilding trust, and returning to an unsafe relationship?
6. Generosity and humility: How does Jesus’ teaching about serving quietly challenge our desire for recognition? What opportunities for generosity are available even when money or time is limited?
7. Practical love: What does the Good Samaritan teach about noticing and responding to another person’s needs? Where might you express Christlike love through a simple act of service?

These questions encourage understanding and honest conversation, not a test of spiritual maturity. You do not need to share deeply personal experiences or provide impressive answers. The goal is to understand Christ’s teaching, consider its meaning honestly, and learn to follow him through the help of the Holy Spirit.

Put It Into Practice

These responses provide opportunities to practice Christ’s teachings during the coming week.

Practice One Act of Humble Service

Read John 13:12–17 again. Consider someone who could benefit from practical help, encouragement, or thoughtful attention.

Choose one safe and appropriate act of service that does not depend upon receiving recognition. You might help with an ordinary responsibility, prepare a meal, offer assistance to someone in need, or give time to a person who is often overlooked.

Before acting, pray that your motivation would reflect the love Jesus has shown you. Afterward, thank God for the opportunity to serve. The purpose is not to perform something impressive, but to respond faithfully to Christ.

Pray for Someone Difficult to Love

Read Matthew 5:43–48 and consider Jesus’ teaching about loving enemies and praying for those who mistreat us.

Think of a difficult relationship, if doing so is emotionally safe and appropriate. You do not need to contact the person or disclose the situation to your discipler.

Pray for wisdom, freedom from personal revenge, and the ability to respond truthfully. Where a relationship involves danger, coercion, or abuse, maintain appropriate boundaries and seek qualified support rather than initiating unsafe contact. The goal is not to manufacture affection or force reconciliation. It is to bring your response before God and seek a faithful way forward.

Consider Generosity and Your Responsibility to Others

Read Matthew 6:1–4 and Luke 10:25–37. Reflect upon the resources, abilities, relationships, and opportunities God has placed in your care.

Consider whether there is a person or need you could serve through generosity. Your response might involve financial assistance, food, hospitality, transportation, prayer, encouragement, or volunteering through an accountable local ministry. Choose something suitable to your circumstances without neglecting legitimate family or financial responsibilities.

If You Are Studying Alone

Read John 13, Matthew 5, and Luke 10, then work through the discussion questions in a notebook or digital document. Pay particular attention to ways you can change your life to be a light to others from this step. Consider the practical exercises privately and choose responses that are safe and appropriate to your circumstances. You may also read the For the Discipler section to understand how the passages fit together.

If you are facing complicated questions about forgiveness, damaged relationships, or appropriate boundaries, consider speaking with a trustworthy pastor or qualified professional. You do not need to resolve every difficult relationship before continuing the course.

The Good Way Library encourages independent participants to seek healthy Christian fellowship whenever possible. The love Jesus commands is meant to develop within the shared life of his people, not merely through isolated personal study.

Suggested Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for the love you have shown through your Son, Jesus Christ. Thank you that he willingly humbled himself, served his disciples, and gave his life for sinners. Help me understand that my relationship with you rests upon his saving grace rather than my ability to become sufficiently loving or obedient.

Lord Jesus, teach me to love as you love. Where I am selfish, give me humility. When I am impatient, help me respond with gentleness. If I have wronged another person, lead me toward honest repentance and appropriate repair. Where I have been wronged, give me wisdom to refuse revenge while maintaining truth and necessary boundaries.

Holy Spirit, form the character of Christ within me. Open my eyes to people who need encouragement, mercy, or practical assistance. Help me serve without seeking recognition and speak truthfully with compassion.

Teach me to remain close to Jesus throughout ordinary life. Strengthen my love for my family, my neighbors, my fellow believers, and those who are difficult to love. Help me become someone through whom others can recognize the goodness and mercy of Christ. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Scripture to Remember

John 13:34–35 (WEBU)

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

These verses summarize the central teaching of Step Nine.

Jesus does not simply command his followers to love. He commands them to love according to the pattern he has established through his own life and sacrifice. As you remember these words, consider how they apply to your relationships. Think about the way you speak, forgive, serve, and respond to people who need patience or compassion.

The purpose of remembering Scripture is not merely to repeat the words accurately. It is to receive Christ’s teaching and increasingly live according to it.

Continue Studying With The Good Way Library

The following free resources provide additional biblical explanation for Step Nine. Read the assigned Scripture passages first, then use the commentaries to deepen your understanding and consider how Christ’s teaching applies to your life.

• John 13 Commentary: Love to the End | Explore Jesus’ washing of the disciples’ feet, his humble service, the betrayal of Judas, and the new commandment to love one another. This is the primary commentary for Step Nine. Its Walkthrough and Interpretive Options are especially helpful for understanding the foot washing and Christ’s commandment.
• Romans 12 Commentary: Living Sacrifice and Genuine Love | Examine how God’s mercy leads believers toward sincere love, hospitality, generosity, humility, peaceful relationships, and refusing revenge. This commentary connects Christlike love with practical Christian living.
• Philippians 2 Commentary: Christ’s Humility and Exaltation | Study Paul’s teaching about humility and concern for others, especially how Jesus’ divine identity, willing service, obedience, and exaltation shape the Christian response. This passage provides a deeper theological foundation for humble service.
• Matthew 6 Commentary: Hidden Righteousness and Kingdom Trust | Consider Jesus’ teaching about charitable giving, sincere prayer, forgiveness, possessions, and trusting the heavenly Father. The commentary helps explain why genuine righteousness seeks God’s approval rather than public admiration.

These studies are intended to help you understand Scripture more clearly and respond faithfully to Christ. The Good Way Library’s commentaries can provide historical background, explain difficult passages, present interpretive questions, and offer guidance for application.

Before the Next Step

We have now considered one of the clearest marks of genuine Christian discipleship: love that reflects the character and saving work of Jesus Christ.

Jesus loved his disciples before commanding them to love one another. He willingly took the position of a servant, knowing that he possessed all authority from the Father. He then gave his followers a commandment that would shape their relationships and reveal their connection to him. This love reaches into every part of ordinary life. It changes how we speak, treat family members, handle disagreements, use our possessions, forgive wrongdoing, and respond to people in need. It calls us to humility, generosity, patience, truthfulness, and practical mercy.

Yet Christian love does not arise from personal determination alone. The Holy Spirit forms Christlike character in those who belong to Jesus. We continue growing because Christ has already loved and saved us, not because our acts of service purchase his acceptance.

The next step will show us where much of this love is meant to develop and become visible.

Next Reading: Acts 2:37–47

In this passage, Peter proclaims the gospel of the risen Jesus, and those who receive his message are baptized and brought into the fellowship of the church. These new believers devote themselves to apostolic teaching, prayer, worship, fellowship, and caring for one another. Their love takes shape within a real Christian community.

Step Ten: Belong to Christ’s People will explore baptism, the Lord’s Supper, worship, Christian fellowship, spiritual gifts, and the importance of participating in a healthy local congregation.

We will see why following Jesus is deeply personal but never intended to become permanently isolated. For now, remember the example of our Lord. The one who possesses all authority humbled himself to serve. The one who commands us to love has first loved us through his saving sacrifice.

As we remain in Christ, his love should increasingly become visible in our lives. And as we learn to love one another, we prepare to participate more fully in the shared life of his church.